The colours of creation

I recently visited the Musee D'Orsay in Paris and had the chance to see some of Vincent Van Gogh's paintings.

I knew they were good, even great, but I was not ready for how amazing they were. The paintings were simply astounding, indeed looking at his contemporaries paintings like Gauguin, a great painter in his own regard, it was like comparing a professional to a good amateur. Vincent's paintings are full of life and vibrancy. I would encourage everyone who has the chance to see them in the flesh to do so, you won't be disappointed.

His paintings inspired me, I found this poem just come out of me as I reflected on my visit.

In a stroke there are a thousand shades of life

revealing what has been in plain sight

Hidden from the sight of mere mortals

but opened by this mans inspired hand

How it dances, the spark of life

it dazzles on the petals, it twinkles on the swirls of the fields

exuding from even chair and bed

Is there something special in this paint?

Or are we seeing the touch of the Divine?

A tortured soul, misunderstood and alone

but closer to God in someways than we could ever be

Thank you Vincent for sharing with us

the colours of creation.

Thoughts on idolatry

A little while back Tony Thompson spoke at our church and asked the questions "What is your ultimate? Have you made what is good your greatest desire? What are your idols?"

I've been thinking about this and if I am honest and I look at how I spend my time I know God is not my ultimate. In terms of time God often isn't in the top three and I work for the church! Most of the other stuff is really good but the best (God) is often no. 3, 4, 5 or 10 on the list.

Does that make me a bad? No it just means I am often asleep, unaware of the grace of God on\in my life and oblivious to the many ways God wants to be involved in my life and wants me to be aware of my life in Him!

So I say to myself "Wake up O sleeper" so I can "taste and see that the Lord is good".

I don't need so much to change my life, maybe a few bits - less late night TV for one! It is more of a case of being aware and using...

• my eyes - to look for the hand of God
• my ears - to listen for the still small voice
• my mouth - to say less, so I can hear more

So in essence I need to go to be earlier but stay awake more - I love a good paradox!

Celebrating a life - what a joy!

Over the last few days I have been blessed, I have seen reflections of glory in the ripples of time. What have I been up to? I have been playing a small part in organising the funeral of Alec Tee.

In conversations with his family, looking through photos, seeing the tributes, hearing the stories and seeing the joy that comes of a life lived and ended (in our world) with God - I have seen the unmistakeable reflections of the glory of God. As I sit here I feel a warmth like you get when you've been out in the sun for too long - it's like I have picked up a residual glow.

There is also a little sadness, a small ache as I remember the greyness that surrounded my mum's funeral, especially within my family. So again I will entrust my mum to God and tomorrow at the funeral of Alec Tee I look forward to bask again in the remembrances of his life and the reflection of God's glory.

Investing in People

A few weeks ago I posted about my Dad's 80th birthday party. Another of the outstanding memories of that evening was seeing all the friends and relatives who came to his party and discovering how much time my Dad has invested in these people consistently over the years.

My Dad kept up a myriad of connections with his many sisters and brothers (4 sisters and 2 brothers lived into their 60's and beyond), cousins, nieces & nephews and work and army friends.  Often these relationships have been maintained over the years solely by my Dad taking the initiative of regular contact whether that be visiting, phoning, writing or exchanging calendars!

Hearing this first hand from Dad's friends and relatives, telling me of the love that they have for him was and continues to be inspiring and very challenging to me.  Which people have I invested in like this? Not many I fear.

Society is much more fractured in our time and our culture is one of immediate gratification and looking out for what we need and not what we can give others. And yet this contact and connection is what we all desire - to know and to be known.

Being a Christian in a church community there is also the added difficulty, indeed a paradox if you will. We are called to reach out to others, to make disciples, and in our church we are looking to see it grow in size and influence.  However, we must not do this by sacrificing others along the way, discarding old friendships for the 'fun and excitement' of the new ones.  Somehow we need to do both - care for our existing family whilst welcoming the new additions.

For me I know since leaving home many years ago I have lived quite independently of my family and always looked forward to building friends with work and church colleagues. But now I feel I need to make sure that the important people in my life - family and friends I have known for years - are invested in with time and effort.  I will welcome opportunities to develop new friendships in the future but I want to make those count too.

I guess as I get older, I might just be getting a bit wiser and I can look at my Dad see the way he invests his time (love) into his friends and family (and is loved by them) and truly say I want to be like him.

Praying for Japan

I'm not very good at praying - I'm erratic, I forget and often I just don't do it!

But I have been gripped by the disaster that has happened in Japan and I have a desire to help, to serve, to do something. But I can't do anything to help - I can't go out and help, I can't support any mourning relatives because I don't know anybody from Japan, I can't even give money because there is no fund to give to. What can I do?

I can pray.

So I am making a commitment to pray for Japan this week starting today (Monday 14th March) through to Sunday for 30 minutes each day. That is a big commitment for me - to some 30 minutes will be the norm, to me this will be a lot more than I do most (every?) day.

So if you feel the same way as me why not pray for Japan this week - I know God loves Japan.

Overwhelmed?

Last night as I went to bed feeling overwhelmed by life - water leaks, broken boiler, pressure of work, personal challenges and issues - as I lay in bed I just felt like running away, life was just too much.

I woke up the next morning to find out thousands of people had actually been overwhelmed by a massive earthquake and an enormous tsunami in Japan. Later that day seeing the news coming in from Japan gave me a large dose of perspective.

I'm not saying that my troubles are not difficult, in the context of my life they can be significant but with a bit of perspective from life, family and friends they are shown for what they are - the normal stuff of life.

So like all of us I get overwhelmed, most of the time its because I procrastinate and things just build up or stuff just happens which I don't expect. But most of the problem is inside me - worrying, not talking things through, not remembering what I said, not being honest and open about my fears and feelings - not so much my circumstances then than my inner world.

So I pray for those in Japan, knowing that the reality they face is truly overwhelming and my issues are just part of life and my journey.

Is it OK to not be OK?

Let’s be honest we prefer to be around fun people more than miserable people – that’s an easy choice! But what would you choose – ‘happy’ unreal people or real but flawed people?

It strikes me that we have to make that choice everyday when we ask and answer the question, “How are you?”. It’s an easy question to answer when things are good or OK. When life is difficult I tend to make a choice along the lines of this flowchart:

When people really ask us "How are you", I think what we all want is to be heard, accepted, receive some empathy about our situation and then if needed maybe the offer of help, care, prayer or all of the above! The first and most important is to be heard and accepted – to know it is OK to NOT be OK. When this happens we can be real.

However, when we suspect that the person we are speaking to will be uncomfortable with our difficult situation or will rush to suggest a solution to our 'problem' – then it might just be easier for both of us if we keep our masks on and look for another place where it is OK to NOT be OK.

Dexter

One of my favourite TV shows is Dexter - it has a great opening credits (see the video)

Dexter is a drama series about Dexter Morgan (played by Michael C. Hall), a forensic bloodstain pattern analyst for the Miami Metro Police Department who moonlights as a serial killer (you can see the references in the video).

Set in Miami and based on the novel Darkly Dreaming Dexter by Jeff Lindsay. Dexter structures his killing around "The Code of Harry", a body of ethics and procedures devised by his adoptive father Harry Morgan (who was a Miami cop) to make sure Dexter never gets caught and to ensure that Dexter kills only other killers. As an adult, Dexter has largely escaped suspicion (with some exceptions) by being genial and generous and maintaining generally superficial relationships. However, his attachment to his sister, Debra, his wife, Rita, his stepchildren and later his son both complicate his double life and also help him re-connect with normal human emotions.

Whilst being a great drama, with an excellent cast, it is also a great insight into a troubled and traumatised mind and even though most of us are nothing like Dexter I'm sure that we all have blockages or disconnects like this in some area of our lives - I know I have.

You've got my full attention

"You've got my full attention", this is a phrase I've found myself using quite a bit recently. I say it quite deliberately and then attempt to do just that, give my full attention to the the person who wants to speak to me. To me this means:

• looking at the person
• not doing other things at the same time
• trying to really listen to the words they say
• watching the way they say it
• stopping myself analyse and solve their 'problem' in my head as they tell it to me
• and finally trying to show/reflect that I have heard and understood what they have said

It doesn't sound too difficult to do this.  But why do we rarely give people our full attention like this? So often we are in conversations but half our mind is elsewhere thinking about the next thing to do, listening to other conversations, watching other things or people. We seem to be trying to do so much that we de-value the most important thing - each other.

I know I am guilty of this, especially on a Sunday morning when I have a list of people I need to see or things to do. I find myself chatting with someone whilst all the time looking over their shoulder for the next person on my 'to do' list. And what's more I really dislike it when people do this to me!

Well I can't change anybody else and sometimes I do have a list of people I really need to speak to.  But the rest of the time I'm going to really try to do this.  So if you are talking to me feel free to ask, "Have I got your full attention?" - because you deserve it!

Dedicated to LC

The greatest love of all?

Do you remember Whitney Houston’s 80’s hit “The greatest love of all”

I used to hate it with a passion, especially the lyric “learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all”.

How self indulgent! What about others? Surely the greatest love is the selfless sacrificial love of others before yourself.

Well now I’m not so sure.

Jesus said, the two greatest commandments are to love God and love your neighbour as yourself (Matt 22:36-40). Now lets read that backwards and what do you find that you can’t love your neighbour very well if you don’t love yourself.

What does it mean to love yourself? I think it means you really need to know and accept yourself, warts and all - and we all have warts (using mental & emotional ones).

I’m sure most of us have done some sort of personality or physcological test (Belbin, Myers Briggs, Emotional Health) these are useful for us to know ourselves, but how much do we really look at these to understand and accept and know ourselves.

I think we almost always need help to really understand ourselves.  Having had some counselling I know more about myself (and also about others) than I could have ever known on my own – no matter how many tests I did.

Richard Rohr said,
“How you love people is how you love God,
How you love God is how you love people,
How you let God love you is how you let people love you"

There is so much in this and it is so challenging. I want to add a line to this statement:

"How much I will love (know) myself I can love people and therefore God."

So take some time to know, accept and love yourself today.

This is my son...

At the beginning of January I was at my Dad's 80th birthday party, back in my home town of South Shields.

It was a great time to be with my brothers and sisters again, see relatives I haven't seen for years and to discover relatives I didn't even know existed!  Most of all it was great to be in some small way part of a great crowd who were there to say, "We love you" to my Dad.

One particular aspect of that evening is still with me.  I took my Dad there early so he could be at the club to welcome people as they arrived.  All of the early arrivals where his friends from the club, they were arriving early so they could get their bingo tickets - don't ever get between people and the bingo!

As Dad welcomed them he would then introduce me with phrase, "This is my Son". That description and the words of my Dad saying it again and again have stayed with me, I can hear it in my mind now as clear as day.

I felt and feel proud that Dad was happy and proud to introduce me as his son.  I know I was right next to him when he was saying it to people, but that is just it, he was saying it to other people and I was getting to hear it. It was then usually followed by a hearty handshake, a warm smile and kind words. It was like having my own mini affirmation session!

To know my Dad not only acknowledges me as his son but is proud to do so has been a wonderful present at the start of this year.

My books of the year

At the start of the year I made a realistic list of books I want to read.  There 20 on this list, out of the 40-50 books I have that are yet to be read. No doubt I may add some other books on the way and some on this list could become casualties of war (the new books overtaking these ones).

I hope to write a simple review of each book over the course of the year.  Why not let me know what books you are reading or what you think of these books if you have read them. 

The books I am reading now

Team of rivals : the political genius of Abraham Lincoln – by Doris Kearns Goodwin

[So far it is an absorbing historical account and a look into the mind & working of one of the truly great leaders]

The Road Less Travelled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth – by M.Scott Peck

[I am trying to read a chapter or two of this a week as part of trying to understand myself and my world – incredibly insight and very readable]

The Story From The Book - From Adam to Armageddon – by Ted Miller

[A summary paraphrase of the bible – reading this I hope to get a better sense of the sweep of scripture]

Books I plan to read this year

Persian fire: the first world empire and the battle for the West – by Tom Holland

[His previous book Rubicon on the Roman Empire was fascinating]

The War of the World – by Niall Ferguson

[His previous book Empire on the British Empire was excellent and made me proud to be British!]

The world needs more elders – by PJ Smyth

Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man's Soul – by John Eldredge

The Shack: Where Tragedy Confronts Eternity – by William Paul Young

You Can Change: God's Transforming Power for Our Sinful Behaviour and Negative Emotions – by Tim Chester

The Associate – by John Grisham

The Catcher in the Rye – by J. D. Salinger

[I never read any classics when I was younger so I am trying to catch up, no pun intended]

The Road – by Cormac McCarthy

Gridlock – by Ben Elton

Frank Skinner (The Autobiography) – by Frank Skinner

The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference – by Malcolm Gladwell

Leadership Handbook of Management and Administration – by James D. Berkley

Disabled Church-Disabled Society: The Implications of Autism for Philosophy, Theology and Politics – by John Gillibrand

Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want – by John Gray

[pop psychology I know but I thought I’d give it a quick read]

The Wisdom of Crowds – by James Surowiecki

Making Time: Why Time Seems to Pass at Different Speeds and How to Control It – by Steve Taylor

Introductions

Let me introduce myself, I’m Steven Hunter.  Up to this point I have led quite a varied life, right now I live in Bishop’s Stortford where I work as a church administrator.

This is a job which means I very much have a “finger in all the pies” hence the name of this blog.

So why do a blog?  Well I’ll give you five reasons:

• Having to write\create content for this blog will I hope both stretch and develop me.
• The idea of journalling has always been something I wanted to do and get into yet I have always struggled, so somehow I hope that this blog will serve somewhat as a personal journal.
• It’s a way to interact in a different way with friends both near and far because in one way or another we are all inter-connected. One aspect of this blog will be to help connect others across the virtual (& real) world – seeing different, relevant and strange views, ideas and creations.
• Reading other blogs over the past year has inspired and challenged me, so I want to in some small way inspire and challenge others.
• I think it will be fun, I hope you think so too.

So please do comment (and subscribe!) on my posts if they speak\tickle\challenge\annoy you.

Let the adventure begin.