Most of the time we live in our own ordered, secure world and don't ever look at it or ourselves very closely. Often it's not until you have an experience or meet someone that you are forced to confront yourself and how you view the world - how you will respond, act, feel, change...The last few weeks have seen some major changes in my life which have seen different people, events and experience come into my world in a short space of time.
Maybe no-one could easily handle this much change without being affected in some or many ways I know I can't. But I can't keep hiding within myself and I can't run away.
It just leaves me the option of 'growing up'.
I say growing up because I feel so immature at times. Emotionally immature for certain. Ironically I think I can listen to others, be wise and mature, empathetic and even insightful but in the moments I have to deal with myself I am a mess.
How do you learn to handle emotions, when all you have done in life is to avoid, suppress or nullify them? They say being in touch with your emotions is a good thing, maybe like exercise where it is often a case of 'no pain, no gain'. One blessing in all this is some off the people I have spent time with in the midst of the pain and the strange thing is almost all of their first names begins with the letter A!
Well here's hoping that the pain I'm going through produces emotional muscle for the future challenges ahead.
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