Walking backwards

The other day I was walking into town and felt the urge to walk backwards down the hill - I know I am very much a child at heart. I only went for half a dozen or so steps but I was interested in the feelings it brought out of me.

I enjoyed being able to look back at where I had been where I had come from whilst at the same time being concerned even scared of my future destination. I wasn't fully in control of where I was going.

Turning around I was struck by a couple things.
I was now safe because I could see where I was going. However, I wasn't enjoying the view as much because I was concentrating on where I was going.
Also I couldn't really remember where I had come from, the image of the path behind me immediately faded as it went past my peripheral vision.

This speaks to me of our own personal journeys.
Most of the time we are so focused on the immediatacy of our lives as they play out in front of us that we can't enjoy the journey. On top of that we barely have any time to remember the past never mind enjoy or learn from it.

Yet walking backwards down that hill is actually what our lives are like. The only things we can be certain of are those that are in the past, "we only have what we remember"*, and the future is truly unknown. In this future we need to trust in ourselves, in others and in God that we will be safe step by step and maybe every once in a while stop, turn around and have a look at our past.

* from Wooden Heart, Listener