Exposed

Here I am
Open
Unlocked
An open book if you will
So many walk past
Just browsing
Only looking at the title, the headline
Does it make them smile
Is it what they already agree with
No danger, nothing to risk
A kind soul approaches
And I am undone
Nerve-endings touched
Adrenaline flows
Pain and tears
I am exposed
If only for an instant
An instant that seems eternal
Wave upon wave
Emotions that I can't control
I don't want to control
Washing over me
Cleansing me
And then
The moment passes
Normality restored
Life continues
Nothing to see here

Pride

"Pride, what is it good for..." Is pride good for anything other than leading one towards a fall?
definition - Arrogant or disdainful conduct or treatment; haughtiness.

I wonder how many things I would have done differently or even some things I would have either attempted or steered clear of if it wasn't because my pride got in the way.

There are of course good things to be proud of - family, children, achieving those goals like starting a business from scratch or running a marathon, we can have the right sort of pride in our country, company or community.
definition - Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association.

Without some degree of both personal and corporate pride surely we run the danger of being either self loathing and/or destructive to those around us.

I recently broke through a bit of a pride barrier by doing something that I was sure wouldn't get a positive response and possibly create a very awkward situation but doing it anyway. Happily things worked out but I so very nearly chickened out.

Maybe the most important thing to remember is that in the right measure pride is no bad thing. We should have care enough for ourselves that we can accept as the song goes "I am what I am" whatever that may be.
definition - a sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect.

I am proud of many things I have been involved with over the years - seeing how my two girls have grown into beautiful young women, having the fortune along with some skill and hardwork to have had several careers in a variety of work environments, playing a small part in some big events, supporting some people who needed help at difficult times.

And I am proud to be me.

I hope you are proud to be you because there is no one else like you.

To 5K and beyond...

This weekend I decided* to join in my local ParkRun, a regular 5k (3 mile) run around Hatfield Forest.   I used to run sporadically many years ago and have completed one marathon (Loch Ness) and four half marathons (Great North Run) in my time.   Regular running has been a hard habit to keep but I need something regular in my life right now and I need to get fit. Apart from my 10 min cycle to the station I am genereally sitting on a train or in a car and then behind a desk - with occasional days walking around a large building or two. I would class my lifestyle as sedentary.   But why am I really doing it? Igues there are several reasons:

• For the pleasure - yes I actually enjoy running even through the pain
• Stopping the middle age spread - my waist measurement is 28" but currently I find a 34" more comfortable! I don't want that to creep upto 36" and beyond
• The need to build a healthy habit rather slide into more habits that veer towards the selfish/self distructive end of the spectrum
• Gives me time to think - when I get to longer runs I can think and have a conversation with myself
• Takes me out of myself and my location

  So heres to building a healthy habit and to the beyond it will lead me into.     * I didn't actually make it to the 5k, my lift left without me! So I ran 2.5k (1.5 miles) around nearby fields.

Re-booting the blog

It's been too long since I dared look at this blog and think of re-starting it. I don't even know if all the links will still work, I guess I will have to re-learn it all.

I drew this - S Hunter 2015

But today I have been inspired to try to be creative again by a little interaction with a colleague for whom I produced this masterpiece - it's a 'card' wishing a "Happy Moving Day", as she moves from one office to another.

It is a silly little thing but it's important to me.

I feel able to do silly things again.

This blog is entitled fingerinalthepies, so named because at the time I started it my job and life was summed up by that phrase. I think I am in that place again and able to write about my world as I see it.

Thank you A!

Come on Jesus sort it out

"One touch from Jesus can change everything."

I do believe this, that indeed Jesus can change any situation in a moment, He is after all God.

However, I have heard the phrase said so many times, often at the end of a preach encouraging people to come forward and have that one touch, that one encounter...

How many of the people who go forward don't get the 'one touch' to change everything, they have to keep on keeping on. Yet the leaders promised a life changing touch, come on Jesus get your finger out!

But did Jesus ever use this language? He talked about the kingdom of God being like a mustard seed, tiny but growing into a massive tree. 2000 years ago there were only a few hundred Christians and now there are maybe 2 billion across the world. That seems like a fully grown mustard tree but not really an example of 'one touch' changing everything.

What about Paul & the other New Testament writers? They seem to use language of the race or the journey, part of that journey is to throw off what hinders, and throwing could be a one time action but it often is a action to be repeated. We also told to put things on but not in the sense of just once but more of a daily uniform like picking up our cross. We are told to be filled and to keep on being filled.

The nine lepers who were healed and didn't return to Jesus, they had their one touch but Jesus didn't think much of them.

Encountering Jesus is wonderful and His touch is always just what we need. However God is always with us, we need to learn to engage with Him in our heart everyday right where we are (I know I so need to be reminded of this).

So instead of waiting to the last five minutes of a special meeting for that 'one touch', take five minutes during everyday (more than once a day if you can) and keep in real touch with God.

Creatively challenged - Does this blog have a future?

I guess everybody no matter what they do have periods in their life when they are challenged and have to consider whether to put something away and bring an end to a part of their life.

Over the last couple of months I have been considering whether to continue with my blog.

I have found it difficult not only to find the time and energy to write but also subjects and issues to write about seem to be more elusive. There are lots of stuff I read or hear about that could be a subject to write about but in many areas I feel commenting too much puts me in danger of becoming a hypocrite. Also the breadth of topics that pop up as ideas seems to have narrowed over the last year and I don't want to sound like I am banging on the same drum again and again. Part of this narrowing has been self imposed, having a new job I am reluctant to write about things in this area so early in my career.

Paradoxically at the same time as having less to write about I have lots of new creative ideas in terms of photo studies, thoughts and words, even some video ideas. Frustratingly these creative ideas will take even more time than 'normal' blog posts to put together and would mean putting stuff on new platforms or blogs.

So I am in a place of not really knowing what do with this thing I have created - fingerinallthepies - what do you think?

I would welcome your comments, thoughts and encouragement for the future.

Law or Love?

http://hmsdexter.deviantart.com

Recently the church both locally and nationally has been vocally campaigning to save marriage. Many churches and individuals signed up to the Coalition for Marriage's campaign to keep traditional marriage for just men and women.

Now I haven't got a problem with the church campaigning in this manner, I personally didn't agree with campaign - it seemed especially sad that their headline statement talked of exclusion and opposition - however I believe it is important for people of faith to promote the values they believe in.

On this matter I am pleased that both the new Archbishop of Canterbury and the new Pope are raising the issue of serving the poor.

I think remembering and serving the poor is central to the mission of the church, much more so than dictating family structures for people within and outside the church. It seems to me one comes from a position of law and another of love.

I hope all the leaders and churches who spoke out against the government change of the marriage status (which the Conservatives included in their election platform with the document Contract for Equalities in May 2010, see page 14) will also speak out against the changes which are affecting the poorest in society at the moment.

I hope the change we are seeing in the church is the reality of love winning over law.