Exposed

Here I am
Open
Unlocked
An open book if you will
So many walk past
Just browsing
Only looking at the title, the headline
Does it make them smile
Is it what they already agree with
No danger, nothing to risk
A kind soul approaches
And I am undone
Nerve-endings touched
Adrenaline flows
Pain and tears
I am exposed
If only for an instant
An instant that seems eternal
Wave upon wave
Emotions that I can't control
I don't want to control
Washing over me
Cleansing me
And then
The moment passes
Normality restored
Life continues
Nothing to see here

Pride

"Pride, what is it good for..." Is pride good for anything other than leading one towards a fall?
definition - Arrogant or disdainful conduct or treatment; haughtiness.

I wonder how many things I would have done differently or even some things I would have either attempted or steered clear of if it wasn't because my pride got in the way.

There are of course good things to be proud of - family, children, achieving those goals like starting a business from scratch or running a marathon, we can have the right sort of pride in our country, company or community.
definition - Pleasure or satisfaction taken in an achievement, possession, or association.

Without some degree of both personal and corporate pride surely we run the danger of being either self loathing and/or destructive to those around us.

I recently broke through a bit of a pride barrier by doing something that I was sure wouldn't get a positive response and possibly create a very awkward situation but doing it anyway. Happily things worked out but I so very nearly chickened out.

Maybe the most important thing to remember is that in the right measure pride is no bad thing. We should have care enough for ourselves that we can accept as the song goes "I am what I am" whatever that may be.
definition - a sense of one's own proper dignity or value; self-respect.

I am proud of many things I have been involved with over the years - seeing how my two girls have grown into beautiful young women, having the fortune along with some skill and hardwork to have had several careers in a variety of work environments, playing a small part in some big events, supporting some people who needed help at difficult times.

And I am proud to be me.

I hope you are proud to be you because there is no one else like you.

To 5K and beyond...

This weekend I decided* to join in my local ParkRun, a regular 5k (3 mile) run around Hatfield Forest.   I used to run sporadically many years ago and have completed one marathon (Loch Ness) and four half marathons (Great North Run) in my time.   Regular running has been a hard habit to keep but I need something regular in my life right now and I need to get fit. Apart from my 10 min cycle to the station I am genereally sitting on a train or in a car and then behind a desk - with occasional days walking around a large building or two. I would class my lifestyle as sedentary.   But why am I really doing it? Igues there are several reasons:

• For the pleasure - yes I actually enjoy running even through the pain
• Stopping the middle age spread - my waist measurement is 28" but currently I find a 34" more comfortable! I don't want that to creep upto 36" and beyond
• The need to build a healthy habit rather slide into more habits that veer towards the selfish/self distructive end of the spectrum
• Gives me time to think - when I get to longer runs I can think and have a conversation with myself
• Takes me out of myself and my location

  So heres to building a healthy habit and to the beyond it will lead me into.     * I didn't actually make it to the 5k, my lift left without me! So I ran 2.5k (1.5 miles) around nearby fields.

Re-booting the blog

It's been too long since I dared look at this blog and think of re-starting it. I don't even know if all the links will still work, I guess I will have to re-learn it all.

I drew this - S Hunter 2015

But today I have been inspired to try to be creative again by a little interaction with a colleague for whom I produced this masterpiece - it's a 'card' wishing a "Happy Moving Day", as she moves from one office to another.

It is a silly little thing but it's important to me.

I feel able to do silly things again.

This blog is entitled fingerinalthepies, so named because at the time I started it my job and life was summed up by that phrase. I think I am in that place again and able to write about my world as I see it.

Thank you A!